Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Powerball Lottery

Today I bought $4 worth of lottery tickets. Yes, it would be nice to win millions & millions of dollars. Aw, to live the dream. But before I bought my tickets, I scanned the other 20 past tickets that have I accumulated in the past few months. Of course, not one single winner. Not even one measley dollar. Oh, well, I will spend the $4 to try my chances of odds again. Yet, I think the odds of me winning the Powerball are less than getting struck by lightening or going down in a plane crash.

So I hope who ever wins or has won in the past, is enjoying that Yacht, dream home, and all the other luxuries I have helped pay for by being sucked into the dream of winning the big prize.

One day when I was really bored (and I mean really bored), which doesn't happen too often, I sat down & looked on line and tried to figure out the math to figure a way to be destined to pick the winning numbers. Much to my prevail, I have lost the tiny piece of paper that I wrote my lucky numbers on. Way to go! I think I figured outno matter formula I try to use, it is still just a game of odds and pure luck.

On New Years Day I decided that I would stash away in a secret "mom only fund" (shhh...don't tell any of the Cavemen!) any left over money in my wallet. Each week I put a certain amount of cash in my wallet for miscellaneous purchases (such as the Powerball). Well, I have saved up a small fortune, and I do mean small. But by doing this I can save my money instead of buying Powerball tickets, and cash in on my own little lottery any time I want. And since this is a secret mom fund only, then it is for things that I want, selfish things. Not of Caveman comprehension.

So the next time you or even I buy the Powerball tickets and hope to win the big prize, you have to ask yourself..."Do you feel lucky? Well, do ya?"

Thursday, February 21, 2008

4th grade musical

Well, I survived the joy of the 4th grade music program tonight. It even included a special treat of 100 4th grade students playing harmoniously on the recorder. You know, those little plastic shrill mini clarinet things. And the wonderful acoustics that a cafeteria provides. But indeed, the youngsters are cute, it is very entertaining. The kid who held the note a bit too high. The kid who played the recorder when they weren't supposed to. The kid who was so nervous his voice cracked during his solo (the poor lad). And all the smiling faces of the proud children. They really are wonderful, but even more wonderful followed by a couple of Tylenol.

How Did I Miss a National Holiday?

Apparently while I was going on with the rumblings of my day yesterday, I somehow did not celebrate (and completely missed) the National Holiday of Northern Hemisphere Hoodie-Hoo Day. Who Knew!! Did you?? Apparently, at high noon the citizens of the frozen Northern Hemisphere are supposed to go outside at noon and shout Hoodie-Hoo at the tops of their lungs & wave their arms around like we have just been awarded a grand prize in order to chase away the winter blahs and get ready for spring. This holiday was invented by (some obviously delirious) old people who had nothing better to do on February 20th but to run outside in their skivvies & shout Hoodie-Hoo at the tops of their lungs while waving their arms around like children.
Not that I'm trying to be a kill joy or anything, but I thought the lunar eclipse was more exciting. I don't know. Maybe I haven't given this National Northern Hemisphere Hoodie-Hoo Day a chance. It is a relatively new holiday. I'm wondering when it will make it's way on the calendar? I guess I'd be more in the mood to run around gleefully shouting "HOODIE-HOO HOO HURRAY!" if I was basking on a sunny hot beach with a hot cabana boy helping me spread tanning oil on my body all the while bringing me Corona's with lime. Rather than standing on a street corner in sub zero temperatures getting frost bitten while being mistaken for a escaped mental patient.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

My ADD Target Shopping Trip

Today the oldest son caveman informed me that he has grown out of his underwear. YIKES! Dude, who said you could grow up?? Well, no matter how hard I try to stop them from growing up, they do so in their sleep. So tonight I go shopping for new underwear. He decides "I'm not going with but here's what I want". Ugh, did shopping for underwear for a 10 year old still be my job. But it is, so I drudge to Target. Ok, now here is where my brain goes to overload. You can never go into Target and buy ONLY what you went in there intending to buy. It is just impossible. So hop inside my brain and ride along my ADD shopping trip.

I take my cart through the girls section to get to the boys section and think "oh wow, look at all this really cute girl stuff, wouldn't it be so neat to have a girl. Ok, yeah, whatever so not gonna happen, move on." I get to the boys section & find the underwear "Not what he wanted, not his size, still not his size, is this all they have, dang he's too big for all these, where's the Jr's section" So I venture onward to look for the Jr's section and I end up in the men's section. Still searching for Jr's. So ok, fine I'll check out what they have for teeny tiny men. Whoala, I find them. I take them out of the package. Ok, now I'm trying to image what his butt size is. Will these REALLY fit him. I might have to wash them in scalding hot water & dry them on super hot to shrink them up a bit. Ok, they go into the cart. Off I go to find the next thing. End up going through the baby section. "Oh, look at all the cutsie wittle baby stuff! Pink, blue, pink, blue...Classic Pooh!, my friend having a baby soon will love this, and my youngest caveman for his birthday, and my niece for when I see her in June, ok, wait...just get one for the new baby that is coming." Moving on to find Valentine's on Valentine's eve for extra Valentine cards for schools & daycare. "Oh geez, they have nothing & the aisle is packed. Ok, leave the cart here & make your way through the aisle & grab whatever is there". Valentine's in the cart. Onto the next thing. Milk, Ok off to the grocery section. "Ah, look at all this stuff in the home section, this is cute, this is cute, this would look good on my wall in which room, oh and look at this, and this, oh man I could use one of these, ok, you didn't come here for this, get outta the home section." Onward I move. I get to the grocery section. "Ok, Ritz Crackers, oatmeal, pancake mix, this will be good for pancake week which is coming up, Tostito chips, veggie sticks & no dairy free hamburger helper, DANG!, oh don't forget the milk, ooooh chocolate!, no you don't need chocolate, get it out of the cart, get it out of the cart now, you're on a diet, what do you think you are doing? just go get the milk already." I find the milk & put it in my card. Now I can go check out. "But wait, what's this? Trading Cards!? These would make great Valentine's for the cavemen. No, no, no, and more no..they don't need these, just go check out already, what time is it anyway?". So I check my clock on my cell phone & realize I've been trapped inside Target WAY too long. Very little wait in line time, in fact no line at all which was amazing for all the last minute Valentine shoppers I spotted along the way. "OMG, this check out lady STINKS! Are you kidding me, I get the stinky check out lady! No wonder there was no line. So she gives me the total, I write my check quickly so I can hurry & get away from her stench. I grab up my bags & leave the store "WTH? It's Snowing! Arg, I'm sick of winter already" I put my bags in my van & drive home, I get home and grab the bags out of my van. Why can I still smell stinky check out lady? Is my mind playing a sick joke on me? Oh no, I put the bags up to my nose & they smell like stinky lady! Gah! Blech! I run inside unload all my newly bought items in hopes that they didn't have time to soak up the stinky check out lady's stench.
And that is my ADD Target shopping trip. Thanks for joining me on that journey.

National Pancake Day

All week iHop has been marketing "Feb 12 is National Pancake Day, come in & get your free pancakes". Being unable to make the trip to iHop at 7 am, I took their word for it and made it National Pancake Day on our family calendar. My youngest son who is a fanatic about calendars and holidays (just as an example one year he thought they did away with Ground Hog's Day because it was not on the calendar at school) was loving this new holiday since Pancakes have been a major part of his life. He would eat pancakes for breakfast, lunch, & dinner if I let him. But you CAN NOT under any circumstance mess with the calendar as he knows it. If you announce a special holiday, he will remember it for years. So yesterday I was going to blog about the facts of this wonderful Holiday.....Well, guess what I learned? Feb 12 is NOT I repeat, it is NOT National Pancake Day. DAMN YOU iHop!!! How dare you mess with my son's calendar. Just for the record, and to the advertising & executive president of the iHop marketing team, National Pancake Week is Feb 21-27. And Shrove Tuesday (the Tuesday before Lent or as many American's celebrate as Mardi Gras and not as pancake day) was on Feb 5 this year. Although I did find a Food Holiday website that listed National Pancake Day as Sept. 26. Now here come my next questions. Why is there a whole entire week dedicated to pancakes? I guess pancake lovers of the world could eat the many variety of pancakes for a week. There are buttermilk, chocolate chip, blueberry, mini, jumbo, silver dollar, peanut butter & banana pancakes. Then why oh WHY would National Pancake Day not be during Pancake week, but instead 8 months later in Sept. I'm sure my son won't mind having 2 National Pancake Days in a year. As far as he is concerned I'm sure he'd be alright with it if every day was National Pancake Day.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

The TV Remote

The TV Remote I believe was the caveman's second invention after the wheel. I'm sure of it. My oldest son had the remote instinct at birth. When he was 3 months old he would not settle for the cute learning toy remotes that I bought him. No, he had to have the real deal. So I carried it with me every where I went with him an old remote with the batteries removed. It was one of his favorite toys. (until it melted in the broiler, but that is another story).
I have seen on commercials that they have a new universal remote that will do away with the other 5 remotes one has. I'm guessing this was a woman's idea. I think men enjoy handling 3 or 4 remotes for one television. It's like a challenge to them. Then the remote God smiles down upon them when they can turn on the TV, the VCR, the surround sound, and the DVD player in split seconds time.
We have 5 TV's in our house. All come with 2 or more remotes. It seems like I am the one always looking for the right remote. And I am always fighting to watch something between sports, the Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon, and a few various other channels.
Why is it that the mom can never find the remote. Right now I can not locate the remote to my bedroom TV. I have torn my bed room apart & it is no where to be found. I'm sure my children are the culprits of my missing remote. And why do I feel at a loss for it? It's not like I get the privilege of handling the remote that often. I do with 3 cavemen! So why is it so hard to actually go up to the TV and manually change the channel just like in the old days? No, I search and search frantically for a remote that I will never find while I am forced to watch gymnastics on my TV.
When I was a kid we had 1 TV and my dad was in control of it. We watched what he watched. And we even had to change the channel for him. There were no remotes. We only had 13 channels. In the summer time he would unplug the TV and tell us kids that our TV didn't work. Funny how it suddenly worked every evening in time for the National and Local news broadcasts. And on Sunday's NFL football, 60 Minutes, and Hee Haw. (Yes, I've just totally aged myself there.)
So yet another mystery of life....the power of the remote control....and how a lost one can totally ruin your day or evening. I am still wondering where the remote for my bedroom TV is. And how long my TV will be stuck on channel 11?

Friday, February 8, 2008

A mother's solitude

Solitude is something mothers are always trying to find. It's one of the great mysteries of life. "Where can I find solitude in my home?" My mother always found her solitude in the bathroom. Growing up we only had one bathroom for the whole family to share. So between a mom & a dad (who could often times be heard snoring while on the John) and 3 girls, it was a busy room. My mom would bring a novel with her and I never could figure out why. My sisters and I would just know. Mom's in the bathroom, don't bother her. So if you had to use the bathroom while mom was in there or if dad was snoring in there, you better run to a friends house or go in your pants.
With that said....We have 2 bathrooms in our house. It never fails that when I walk into the bathroom I am suddenly followed by all 3 cats. Why is it that all 3 cats insist on being in the bathroom with ME? They don't do that to the kids or the husband. If they miss their window of opportunity to get in there before I shut the door, then they paw at the door until I let them in. If I ignore them, they bang on the door and reach their cute little paws as far as they can under the door. This is proceeded by one of the caveman children to shout "MOM, MOM, MOM, I need you!"
I shout "I'm busy, it'll have to wait."
They shout back "I'm Hungry!"
Which is funny because I just gave them a snack & asked if they needed anything before I went and locked myself into the bathroom with the cats.
Then I'll hear pounding on the door.
"Mom, open the door, the cat wants in."
Um...they can just wait.
"Mom, I gotta go potty."
"Go downstairs, I'm using this one for a while"
"I don't wanna go downstairs, there's no one down there."
"Well, you're gonna have to hold it then"
"Can't you go downstairs?" I think of that.

So the next time I use the downstairs bathroom as to not disrupt the fates of the caveman's underpants.
"MOM! MOM! Where are you? MOM!! MOMM! WE NEED YOU!!"
This goes on. Then cats pounding on the door.
Finally one of the cavemen children comes downstairs.
"Mom, are you in there?"
"Oh, we couldn't find you. I need a drink of water. Open the door, the cats want in."
"You'll all have to wait, and you're old enough to get the water for yourself."
Sure enough when I exit the downstairs bathroom, 3 cats run in and the caveman child still needs a drink of water.
So, back to the mystery of life...."Where do I find solitude in my house?" No room is sacred. They always find me.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

My baby is 10

10 years ago I birthed my first caveman child. Wow, where did the last 10 years go? All day I just kept thinking about the day he was born and the last 10 years. So it was just a bittersweet day. He was so excited to be turning 10. He had a great day. Everyone at school wished him a happy birthday and he just had everything go his way. No homework was given out either. After all your birthday should be a happy day.
Tomorrow I will be busy cleaning up the mess I made in the kitchen from all the birthday preparations and post birthday bash.

Jesus Loves Me

This is what the back window bumper sticker said on the van that cut me off and almost made me crash today. I was driving about 50 miles down the road and a van turns off the side road right in front of me. I had to suddenly slow from 50 to 10 in a split second. Good thing I'm such a good defensive driver and I didn't have to find out exactly how much Jesus really does loves me. But I thought, "Wow, Jesus loves me, this is good information to know before I crash and die, I'm so glad I had a bumper sticker to tell me this."

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Happy Ash Wednesday

Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent. The day to make a commitment to giving up a vice or two or three for 40 days. So I ponder "what should I give up?" I've already made many New Years Resolutions that I have managed to stick with for 37 days now. So what else is there i ask myself? I could certainly think of some things to give up, but they aren't really vices.
1) I could give up dieting, but that would be a bad thing since I'm doing so well.
2) I could give up my job, but again that would be a bad thing since I have yet to win the lottery.
3) I could give up going to dentist, but I need a crown put in & thanks to anxiety medication I actually had a rather relaxing experience at today's visit. I could kiss the inventor/makers for making that little pot of gold.
4) I could give up cleaning, but again not the best of things to give up. I can only imagine how bad it could get in 40 days.

So, I really have nothing to give up, so instead of giving something up, I will make the commitment to continue my New Years resolutions that I made to better myself.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Tomorrow is D day

No, not anything you are thinking. It's Dentist Day. I HATE going to the dentist. I'd rather give birth to a litter of kittens than go to the dentist. I'm only going for a tooth cleaning, but still it's dental work. I'll be sitting in that big vinyl chair, with my mouth wide open, the smell of rubber gloves, then someone poking and prodding at my teeth. "Does this hurt?" They'll say. Well, hell yeah, that hurts, you are stabbing my gums with a metal poker & trying to rip my teeth out of my mouth. Of course it hurts! Oh never mind the fact that I have to hold my mouth open for an hour. Can you say Lock Jaw? Then they'll give me a toothbrush and a flower (yes, that's the real reason I go to the Gentle Dentist), and tell me they'll see me again in 6 months.
I get horrible anxiety when I see the dentist, I cling onto the big brown vinyl chair for my dear life. I tense up and my knuckles turn white while I grip the chair as they stab at my mouth and all I can say is "Ah ha, uh ha, ah ha".
And to make matters worse it is Food Day at work. Who is the evil person who invented Work Food Day? So I will have to make sure I get my fill in before I go to the dentist. Make him work for his money. LOL...
But one thing is for sure...going to the dentist does help with the diet. I probably won't eat anything for the rest of the day because my jaw will be sore for the rest of the day & I will wallow around feeling sorry for myself, but happy that I survived yet another dental cleaning.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Welcome to My Blog

Hey all,
Welcome to my blog, my world of insanity, and my life as I know it living with Cavemen.
I am married to DH & we have 2 boys ages 10 & almost 9. loving adoring cavemen. Life is never dull. Always fun & always interesting. My kids teach me new things every day. They have done this their whole life.
We have 3 cats. Yes I'm one of those crazy cat ladies. If had any more boys, I think I'd have to jump off a cliff. Just kidding, but I'd definitely need LOTS of therapy. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my children, I grew up with all sisters, so boys are a whole new experience. OK, I had a little brother, but he had my parents to take care of him. I just helped warp his young mind.
My boys have taught me not to be afraid of snakes & lizards & other various creepy crawlies to the point where I would have one as a pet (although I still HATE spiders), to love fishing (I won't hook my bait or gut the fish though), to love Monster Jam, & enjoy crash em up car races. Not only enjoy trucks & car racing, but know all the trucks names & who the drivers are. Now they are trying to teach me about military airplanes and that is way over my head.
I pretty much have almost every Disney movie line memorized. (I'm H2O intolerant, I'm obnoxious!)
So living with cavemen is an experience all it's own. Which is why I chose the pink background to remind myself that I AM A GIRL!!