Today the oldest son caveman informed me that he has grown out of his underwear. YIKES! Dude, who said you could grow up?? Well, no matter how hard I try to stop them from growing up, they do so in their sleep. So tonight I go shopping for new underwear. He decides "I'm not going with but here's what I want". Ugh, fine...how did shopping for underwear for a 10 year old still be my job. But it is, so I drudge to Target. Ok, now here is where my brain goes to overload. You can never go into Target and buy ONLY what you went in there intending to buy. It is just impossible. So hop inside my brain and ride along my ADD shopping trip.
I take my cart through the girls section to get to the boys section and think "oh wow, look at all this really cute girl stuff, wouldn't it be so neat to have a girl. Ok, yeah, whatever so not gonna happen, move on." I get to the boys section & find the underwear "Not what he wanted, not his size, still not his size, is this all they have, dang he's too big for all these, where's the Jr's section" So I venture onward to look for the Jr's section and I end up in the men's section. Still searching for Jr's. So ok, fine I'll check out what they have for teeny tiny men. Whoala, I find them. I take them out of the package. Ok, now I'm trying to image what his butt size is. Will these REALLY fit him. I might have to wash them in scalding hot water & dry them on super hot to shrink them up a bit. Ok, they go into the cart. Off I go to find the next thing. End up going through the baby section. "Oh, look at all the cutsie wittle baby stuff! Pink, blue, pink, blue...Classic Pooh!, my friend having a baby soon will love this, and my youngest caveman for his birthday, and my niece for when I see her in June, ok, wait...just get one for the new baby that is coming." Moving on to find Valentine's on Valentine's eve for extra Valentine cards for schools & daycare. "Oh geez, they have nothing & the aisle is packed. Ok, leave the cart here & make your way through the aisle & grab whatever is there". Valentine's in the cart. Onto the next thing. Milk, Ok off to the grocery section. "Ah, look at all this stuff in the home section, this is cute, this is cute, this would look good on my wall in which room, oh and look at this, and this, oh man I could use one of these, ok, you didn't come here for this, get outta the home section." Onward I move. I get to the grocery section. "Ok, Ritz Crackers, oatmeal, pancake mix, this will be good for pancake week which is coming up, Tostito chips, hmmm...no veggie sticks & no dairy free hamburger helper, DANG!, oh don't forget the milk, ooooh chocolate!, no you don't need chocolate, get it out of the cart, get it out of the cart now, you're on a diet, what do you think you are doing? just go get the milk already." I find the milk & put it in my card. Now I can go check out. "But wait, what's this? Trading Cards!? These would make great Valentine's for the cavemen. No, no, no, and more no..they don't need these, just go check out already, what time is it anyway?". So I check my clock on my cell phone & realize I've been trapped inside Target WAY too long. Very little wait in line time, in fact no line at all which was amazing for all the last minute Valentine shoppers I spotted along the way. "OMG, this check out lady STINKS! Are you kidding me, I get the stinky check out lady! No wonder there was no line. So she gives me the total, I write my check quickly so I can hurry & get away from her stench. I grab up my bags & leave the store "WTH? It's Snowing! Arg, I'm sick of winter already" I put my bags in my van & drive home, I get home and grab the bags out of my van. Why can I still smell stinky check out lady? Is my mind playing a sick joke on me? Oh no, I put the bags up to my nose & they smell like stinky lady! Gah! Blech! I run inside unload all my newly bought items in hopes that they didn't have time to soak up the stinky check out lady's stench.
And that is my ADD Target shopping trip. Thanks for joining me on that journey.