Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Why is Farting so Funny?

What is it about human body gas that boys and men find so funny? How do they have the ability to fart or burp on command? More universal questions that I will never know the answers to.

My children each have a container of stuff called Flarp. It is a gooey substance like silly putty, but softer. You push your fingers in it into the container at various speeds and it makes the most amazing realist fart sounds. The laughing involved in that is something else. Big huge belly laughs and smiles from ear to ear. Laughter until you start to hiccup, drool, and cry.

Then it's even more fun to blame every living thing in site for the farting noises. "Ew, mom, what have you been eating? Some farting foods?" followed by more bellows of laughter. Even the cats are not safe from blame.

The things that amuse cavemen. I'm sure cavemen were laughing at their farts and burps before they invented fire and the wheel. I wonder if the real cavemen played "Pull My Thumb"? Free Smiley Face Courtesy of

Sunday, December 28, 2008

My Blog is Loved. And I Love yours too!

The other day my sister gave me this lovely award. My first blog award. Thanks sis! I LOVE your blog too. Your posts have me laughing all the time.

To accept this award, and to pass it on to 5 others (difficult decision as there are so many good ones), I must answer a list of questions with one word responses. I'm not really a one word person, so this may be difficult for me but I'll give it my best shot. Here goes:

1. Where is your cell phone? Bed
2. Where is your significant other? couch
3. Your hair color? Brown
4. Your mother? Wyoming
5. Your father? Deceased
6. Your favorite thing? sons
7. Your dream last night? crazy
8. Your dream/goal? retire
9. The room you're in? bedroom
10. Your hobby? Writing
11. Your fear? Death
12. Where do you want to be in six years? Here
13. Where were you last night? Home
14. What you're not? Quiet
15. One of your wish list items? movie
16. Where you grew up? Montana
17. The last thing you did? eat
18. What are you wearing? Jammies
19. Your T.V.? on
20. Your pet? cats
21. Your computer? attached
22. Your mood? blah
23. Missing someone? Sisters
24. Your car? Minivan
25. Something you're not wearing? necklace
26. Favorite store? Wal-Greens
27. Your Summer? Hot
28. Love someone? Yes
29. Your favorite color? Blue
30. When is the last time you laughed? Yesterday
31. Last time you cried? Yesterday

I love a lot of blogs, but I'm passing this award and the list of questions on to the following:

Leslie - I love your photography & poetry
Dean & Kelley - Great recipes and Kick Ball people
Irish Mama - Your posts really make me laugh. Would love to go drinking with you someday.
The Francis Family - Sometimes you remind me of my family
Ambivalent Muse - Good diary free recipes and funny blogs.

I also love my two sister's blogs, but it would be redundant to share this back with them. But Mary & Patty ...I love your blogs too.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Christmas!

We spent Christmas Eve with my husband's family. The boys had fun playing with their cousins. All of their Minnesota cousins are girls, but they have fun. Kevin and the oldest girl cousin get along so well together. She is more of tomboy so she will play the boy stuff that Kevin likes to do. Sam just plays chase with the smaller girl cousins and tell them stuff to do and they listen and do what ever he says.

Sam was ready to open presents last night at grandma & grandpa's house, so he asked if every one was ready too. Grandma said "No, some of us are still eating dinner." About a half an hour later, every one was finished eating. Sam looked around and said "Is everyone done eating?" He looked around and said " Yep, I say you all are. Time to open presents!"

So it was settled. Present opening commenced. Sam got the game Sorry and he was so excited. It was on his list and he couldn't wait to play it. He got some Star Wars pajamas and a Star Wars bedtime robe. He won't wear it if I call it a robe, so I told him it is a cozy blanket with sleeves and pockets. That got him to wear it.

Kevin got a book about WWII Navy Aircraft Carriers. He was excited about that. He got a Yadda, Yadda, Yadda toy, which you record your voice and then play it back either sped up or slowed way down. It sure does make us all laugh and I think the batteries are almost dead. He got a few other goodies, that he has horded off somewhere, so no one gets into them.

This morning at 7 am they woke up and woke up my husband & I, so we could all go to the tree together. I had to get in proper photography position so I could snap a picture of the looks on their faces. They had big smiles when they saw what was under the tree. Star Wars figures, a stuffed animal, and a poster made especially for them. Then we opened up presents. Sam got a virtual fish aquarium. It's pretty neat. It's a real fish tank with fake fish. It's so nice, we don't have to feed them, clean the tank, and the cats can't eat them. Kevin got a Nikon Coolpix point & shoot camera. He loves it. He's becoming quite the little photographer. He took 100 pictures with it today already. Most of them are just of things around the house. Anything he could take a picture of. I told him the rules with the camera are 1) he has to be careful with it and not leave it laying around to get broken & 2) it's not going to camp.

The boys got lots of Star Wars toys, a Star Wars Dictionary, and Star Wars Monopoly game. So it was a very Star Wars Christmas. They have been having fun all day with their new loot.

I made a big huge ham for dinner along with home made cheesy potatoes, Ken's favorite green bean casserole, relish dish, apple sauce. I made some stove top stuffing for Kevin and some french fries for Sam. I made an Apple Pie with the help of my good friend Mrs. Smith. She sure knows how to make a good Apple Pie. So our bellies are full. We'll have left overs to last us until New Years. Or at least pretty close to it.

And I have a gigantic pile of dishes to do. Where's my fairy Godmother when I need her?

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Attack of the Wedgie

One thing I have learned in living with cavemen is that you have to constantly be on guard. The littlest caveman has somewhere learned about the wedgie. Which is too bad for the rest of us. He thinks it is hilarious when he can give any one of us a wedgie. He likes to catch us in our weakest moments. He seeks the most opportune time for a major wedgie. Such as when I'm doing dishes and have both my hands in the sink full of soapy water, or when I'm taking dinner out of the oven, or when I'm taking things out of the freezer, or perhaps when I'm standing on my tip toes reaching something out of the cupboard. This is when he strikes. I seem to be the prime victim of the wedgies. The other two cavemen will come to my rescue though. Then they'll give the wedgie giving caveman a wedgie and it turns into one big wedgie fest.

That's ok...I have pictures of them that I will show their girlfriends someday. A mother's revenge is some times the best revenge. Free Smiley Face Courtesy of

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Daycare Xmas party

Tonight was the daycare Xmas party. It snowed all day long today and was cold, so it would have been nice to just stay inside. But we drudged ourselves out. Kevin wanted to stay home. He didn't want to be with a bunch of 2 and 3 year olds. He is 10 now and so grown up for that sort of thing. LOL... He acts like 2 and 3 year old children are from another planet. They possibly very well may be, but he forgets he was that age once.

Sam & I were headed out. I couldn't find my cell phone, so I tried to call it from my home phone before I left. Our phone was dead. I checked all the other phones to make sure none of them were off the hook. None of them were. I told Kevin I wasn't going to leave him home alone for a couple hours with out being able to call out in case of an emergency. He didn't want to go. He was afraid no one would be there his age and he didn't want to spend his evening with a bunch of babies. I told him we'd go drop off the presents and be right back.

We got to the party and Sam didn't want to come home. I couldn't get through to the cable company to find out how long the phones would be out or what was going on. High call volume is what their hold background kept saying. So I came home and got Kevin and took him to the party. I grabbed a present from underneath the tree for him to have at the party, since all the other kids were doing a gift exchange. So he wouldn't be left out of receiving a gift. Good thing I got them lots of presents this year. I told him he'd have fun as there were kids there his age. They were the older siblings of the little ones that go to daycare. Ok, well, he decided that wouldn't be so bad.

I had a hard time getting that kid to leave! Both boys had a great time. Our daycare lady is so wonderful. She gave all the kids that go to her a present. The kids made special gifts for the parents. She even gave each family a personalized Xmas tree ornament.

The kids had fun, the grown ups had fun, and the food was delicious!

Now we are home relaxing. Our phone is working, so that is a good thing.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

More Christmas Shopping

This year my youngest caveman has been the most excited about Christmas as he ever has been in whole life of 9 years. So I couldn't be a grinch this year. Last night I ventured out and did some more shopping. I scored big time too. My little cavemen will have so many presents to open.

I even got the hubby a few things so he'll have more than just the credit card bill to open for Christmas. And of course I even bought a couple of little goodies for yours truly. I mean, I have to have something to open on Christmas morning too.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

I'm officially done getting ready for Christmas

Tonight I bought the last of all the Christmas presents. I didn't think I'd be spending much money. WRONG! My cart was spilling over the top. So it will be a happy Xmas at our house.

Today we put up the Christmas tree, decorated it, and Ken hung up all the outdoor & window lights. It looks so festive. The kids decorated pretty much the whole tree. I just went and moved the ornaments and spread them out a bit. Sam made me two ornaments at daycare, so he was happy to put those on the tree. We have one of those artificial pre-lit trees. That is SO nice. I hated stringing the lights on the tree. I'd get dizzy going around and around the tree and then trying to keep them evenly spaced was a chore too. So I'm really loving the pre-lit tree. And so far the cats have been staying out of the tree.

The kids are so excited for Christmas. They just want lots of presents and two weeks off from school. Such the life. It's great to be a kid.

Well, I got my Christmas present early. I got a Nikon D80 digital camera with lens kit. It's my dream camera. The camera to end all cameras. I LOVE it. It's wonderful and I'm still trying to figure out all the gadgets it has. Right now I've discovered close up (still learning on that one) and automatic. It takes amazing photos. I have my manual and I have a feeling I'll be reading it more than once. I couldn't wait until Christmas though, I had to open it up early and try it out.

The hubby gets the credit card bill for all the Xmas shopping. I'm so glad I could give him that gift. Which is pretty good considering he doesn't have to shop for or wrap any gifts. I think that's a fair trade.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Got My Passport

Today I got my passport done. It was a most amusing experience.

I walked into the building about 15 minutes before they closed. I grabbed my number and waited my turn. There were two ladies working there, but only one of them could process passports. Why I don't know? It wasn't a difficult process. In fact, I'm sure a caveman could even do it.

The lady with the foreign accent was the one doing passports. Now, that's a bit ironic. I gave her all my paperwork. I didn't have my father's birth date on the form, so she asked me for that. I told her I didn't know, and that he is deceased. Well, she still needed his year anyway. I told her I didn't know. She told me to guess. Well, if I have to guess at it, then why is it so important? Then she saw his age on my birth certificate and she figured out that he was born in 1928. Ok, that sounds good. Sure, lets put that down. I don't know what my father's date of birth has to do with getting a passport and proving that I'm a US citizen. I'm 40 years old and I only have to prove citizenship because I'm trying to go outside of the country I was born in. Well, I thought that is why I provided them with a certified birth certificate and my drivers license. So, sure my dad was born in 1928.

She decides the passport application is complete, so then it is time to take my picture. We go over to the picture area and I stand in front of the white background placard. She is holding the camera and then tells me to move over to my left. Why would I move to the left when I am standing in the center of the background and she is the one with the camera? Who am I to argue? I move to my left. Then she tells me to move to the right. Here? Here? Here? Ok...she takes the picture. She shows me the picture and I tell her ok, cuz I don't want to have to move, move, move again. At least I'm smiling in it and I don't look like I just robbed a bank.

We went back to the counter and she inspected my drivers license. She couldn't tell if the 6 on my drivers license was a 6 or a 5. Was I born in 1968 or 1958. Well, lets see my birth certificate says 1968 and my passport application says 1968. I don't look 40, let alone I do certainly not look 50. Good grief woman! So she still can't make it out, tells me she needs glasses. She asks me if I have a copy of my birth certificate. I told her, "No, you have my certified copy". So she makes me a copy. She tells me I should have 2 copies. One for my house, and one to carry with me. She told me I should have 2 copies of all legal identification forms. One at my house and one to carry with me. Yeah, that's a good idea. Carry all forms of ID on me. Now if that's not screaming "Hey identity thieves, come and get me!!" I don't know what is. I tell her ok, thanks for the copies, I'll do that. I'm not going to argue with a government worker 10 minutes before closing time.

She makes a copy of my drivers license, but she blows it up so it takes up the whole page of an 8x11 sheet of printer paper. Then she decides that indeed that it does say 1968, not 1958. Oh, I'm glad we got that cleared up.

After the whole process is done, she has me raise my right hand. I had to solemnly swear that I didn't use a fake drivers license, fake birth certificate, or fill out bad information on my passport application. I guess if you exclude my father's birth date, then yes, I didn't lie or give you phony identification. Because getting a certified copy of your birth certificate is a pain in the ass, why would I get any body else's but my own? I also had to swear that the picture she took of me indeed is me and looks like me. Well, I didn't see my twin in this office, so I'm pretty sure that the picture she took of me and attached to my paperwork is indeed me.

Then I had to pay. I had one check left in my checkbook. I figured that would do the trick. Nope, you have to write 2 checks. So I wrote one check, and paid cash for the other portion. Apparently the money goes to two different places and they can't separate it out.

After all this it is time for me to go. The whole process took about a half an hour. Two people walked in their office after closing time. The foreign passport lady was still working with me, so the other lady pulled the numbers. The foreign lady asked who was next. A lady stepped up to the counter and the foreign lady says "What number do you have?" The lady states she has no number. "Back of the line you go, you don't have a number, you go to the end of the line." The only other customer standing in the office besides me and the lady with no number was a gentleman and he had a number. So the foreign lady decided he could get service first. He declined and told her to help the lady first. The foreign lady didn't like that much. Then the guy pipes up loudly and says "One thing, make sure you always grab a number first in a place like this. What ever you do, you better get a number." I snickered to myself and was glad I was done, because this did not make the foreign, passport, lady who needed glasses, and was working past closing time not very happy.

I left to go home and hope I get my passport and returned certified copy of my birth certificate in the mail in a few weeks. I'm just glad they last 10 years.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Washing Machine Woes

I received this note today from a good friend of mine. She told me on Tues that she had washing machine woes. This is the update that she sent me about her problem getting fixed. It is quite hilarious.

So on Monday when I was doing laundry and my washing machine was done with a load, I went to move the clothes from the washer to the dryer. However, the washing machine was still full of water and my clothes floating. I turned the dial some and it would start pouring more water in, never draining. So I call Pete and tell him he needs to come over on Tuesday after work and fix it. He comes over, turns the dial, it starts up and all cocky, he says to me "it's fixed" and goes back downstairs. I said "no it's not". Then it stops (thankfully not putting more water in this time).

Well, we can't pull it out with all that water in it, so we have to empty the water out of the washer, one bucket at a time, then put my clothes in the tub (thankfully my washer is upstairs right out side my bathroom). Pete squeezes his not-so-tiny beer gut behind the washer to shut the water off then back out to take the hose off. I grab a cake pan to catch any excess water. Well, there was about four cake pans worth of excess water and about 1/2 a gallon of that got on the floor. Next thing I know all the smoke detectors are going off in my house and we're still trying to get all the water running out of the machine. He turns to me and says "did you turn the oven off?" I said "yeah" then went downstairs to see what was going on, only to find water running out of smoke detector! The water that ran out of the washer ran through my Pergo flooring, through the ceiling and out the only hole it could find, which happened to be my smoke detector.

We still can't let the hose go because there is still excess water, so I go back upstairs, hold the hose and Pete takes the upstairs detector off so we don't go deaf. He then goes downstairs to remove the one down there and I hear this scream. He got electrocuted/shocked. He comes back up, we finish getting the water out of the washer and he pulls the pump apart and pulls out two pieces of wire with hair and crap wrapped around them. He starts accusing me that it's one of my hair pieces (typical man has no idea what those look like). And I'm arguing with him that it's not. A few minutes later, as he's putting the machine back together, I started laughing my ass off - it was the underwire from one of my bras, broke in two pieces, LOL!!! The really funny part, I haven't lost an underwire in one of my bras in over three years, so that thing has been living in there ever since trying to kill my washer!

Moral of the story - check your bras when you take them out of the washer, ladies!


Good thing I don't wear underwire bras. Not only do they twist in the wash and stab you in the arm pits, but they break washing machines too.

Also, it is wise to use a nylon wash bag for under garments.

And why do men always blame womens hair accessories for mysterious happenings?

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Airline Trolls

Saturday on our flight home, I didn't check in online until Saturday morning. They pre-assigned our seats and they were totally not together at all. We were pretty spaced apart. So we got to the airport early and checked in at the counter. At which point they charged me $45 for my luggage. We all had just 1 a piece. Such a load of crap. So I tell them that we need seats together. The agent tried and she said "for whatever reason it's not letting me reassign you, you'll have to check with the boarding gate."

So when they start boarding we get in line so that we are ahead and I tell him. He says to check with the flight attendants.

We are one of the first ones on the plane & I ask the flight attendant what to do. She looks at all 3 of my tickets and says "Go sit in row 22 and then when the other people come to sit there have them trade with you".

So we do that. Well here comes row 22 people. A young couple last ones on the plane. So they look at me & tell me I'm in their seats. So I ask them if they wouldn't mind sitting in our assigned seats cuz I have to be with my kids and this is what the main flight lady said for me to do. So they look at me like I'm crazy. So then troll flight attendant #2 comes over and says "what's the problem here". The young couple says. She's in our seats, cuz she has to be with her kids but we want to sit together.

Troll #2 says to me. "You can't just take their seats, you have to ask them if they will trade. They don't have to trade if they don't want to."

I tell her what troll #1 had told me. So off she marches.

Troll #1 & now troll #3 come to me. Troll #1 who told me to sit here says "I never told you that. I told you to sit in your assigned seats and then find somebody to trade with."

The young couple says "well, if you can find us seats together we'd really like that, but you can't kick her out of these seats, she has to be with her kids. We aren't going to make them split up"

Troll #3 says "Well, get to your seats, we are ready to go."

So I get up and start looking for people to rearrange since the 3 trolls obviously can't handle to do their job and want me and the boys to split up and totally not be anywhere near each other for a 4 hour flight. So the trolls are glaring at me like it's all my fault. Troll #1 finds a guy where there are two empty seats next to and says "Would you mind having this couple sit with you because this lady took their seats".

He says yeah and all is happy except for the 3 trolls.

Then during the flight one of trolls was going through the aisle with her cart. She gets it stuck on the seat in front of me and starts yelling "Excuse me! Excuse me! Excuse me!" So I lean over to see what her problem is & see that she is stuck on the seat. So I sit back up and she gets it unstuck and then just glares at me.

Later on the other troll brought the drink cart through and she starts shouting "Do you want anything to drink? Do you want anything to drink?" I wake up cuz she's shouting this & Sam is asleep. Sam wakes up and it turns out she is shouting this at Sam. So I snap back at her and say "No, he doesn't want anything to drink, he's sleeping. Thanks for waking him up." So she glares at me & then doesn't even ask me if I want anything to drink. Then the whole rest of the flight I just got evil looks when they walked by. Trolls!!

Kevin took a picture of each of the trolls. They were old, fat, ugly, and crabby. If you're rude and your butt hits the seats as you walk down the aisle then you should maybe find another line of work!

I'm going to call the customer service line & complain. I tried today, but their line was too busy all day and it kept sending me to voice mail. I guess they have too many people complaining.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Otters, and monkys, and zoo onlookers ...OH MY!

Our second full day of vacation in sunny San Diego we spent the day at the San Diego Zoo. The day at the zoo was very eventful. In one exhibit a little itty bitty monkey fell into the water below the ledge he was on. It was a long fall. An otter in the water grabbed the little dude and tried drowning it. The mama monkey at the top was going "ape" so to speak. The crowd was in shock seeing the Darwinist act in progress, so a zoo onlooker jumped over the glass edging (the one that keeps people out of the exhibit) and down into the water to save the baby monkey from the death grip of the otter. The otter and mama monkey then turned their attention at the zoo onlooker who was now part of the zoo exhibit. He was able to rescue the monkey and get it back up to it's ledge, out of the water, and away from otter. Another zoo onlooker who was watching everything happen from a safe standpoint started tossing water onto the mama monkey to distract her from the guy in the exhibit as he was now stuck in the exhibit and couldn't find a way out. Finally a bunch of zoo keepers showed up and by then all the crazy action had come to an end. I didn't see all of this unfold as there were too many people in my way, as the frenzy unfolded.

Kevin LOVED the snake exhibit. He knew which ones were deadly and how long its venom would take to kill you. One of them he told could take down an elephant with one dose of it's venom, but I honestly don't remember which one that was and I'm glad they were ALL in glass cages.

Sam enjoyed the Panda exhibit best. They had two grown pandas and one baby panda. The baby panda was content hanging out in the tree.

After we were done enjoying ourselves at the zoo, we headed to the beach. We got to see the last little bit of the sunset against the Pacific Ocean. It was so beautiful. We all got our toes wet and had fun chasing waves on the shore. Or I think the waves were chasing us.

Tomorrow we are going to the USS Midway which Kevin can't wait to get to. Then we head to the airport to fly home.

We sure will hate to leave this sunny place, but the head caveman is missing us. We have been having a great time. Too bad vacations don't last as long as they should.

Gobble, Gobble, Gobble

I am writing this from sunny southern California! I called my sister on Tuesday afternoon and asked what she and her family were doing for the weekend. She said "Nothing". So I asked her if she was up for company and of course she couldn't refuse a visit from her sister and nephews, so she said yes. I clicked "purchase tickets" on and whoala, here we are. We left the main caveman at home as he could not get the time off of work at the last moment. We got a great deal on airline tickets, so it was pretty hard to pass up the opportunity to spend the holidays with my family.

We are having so much fun. We stuffed ourselves silly today and then all fell into turkey comas. Yummy food.

While we are here we are planning to visit the zoo, the beach, and the USS Midway. The boys are excited to see all of that. They can hardly wait.

It was both of the boy's first time on an airplane. Sam wasn't sure what to think. At take off his head felt funny and his tummy was being tickled. He had the puke bag on stand by, but he didn't have to use it. Good thing.

Kevin was so elated, his eyes were huge, and he just kept talking about the way he was feeling with a big smile on his face. He thought that turbulence and hitting air pockets was kind of fun, because then it was bumpy. Myself, I don't care at all for the turbulence. But we made a safe landing, so all was good.

After we departed the plane (we were the last ones off), Kevin got to talk to the pilot and co-pilot. He asked them how fast we were going and what our elevation was. He also asked what the highest speed and elevation that particular plane could go. We were traveling at 550 miles per hour at 36k feet. The plane can go 620 mph and reach 39k feet.

Kevin told the one pilot he really likes airplanes and that he is excited about going on the midway. The pilot told Kevin that he and the co-pilot each flew military planes early in their career. I forget the planes, but Kevin has them etched in his memory as he was very impressed that both his pilots flew bomber air craft. He can't wait to get back on the plane.

It is sunny and close to 70 degrees. We broke out the shorts and t-shirts, while everyone here is huddled up in sweaters. Silly people think it's cold. But we did leave 32 degree weather to be here, so this is a nice change in the weather for us northerners.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Locked Out

Last night after work I left the boys home (neither one of them wanted to come with) for a little bit while I went to run and get gas in my van. I was so low on gas I'm surprised I made it to the gas station just 3 long blocks away. So I get out of my van, put my keys in my pocket, lock my van, and gas up. It's just habit that I lock my van while I'm gassing up. So I reach in my pocket when I'm done gassing up & my keys are NOT in my pocket. Damnit, they fell out inside the van & I manually locked it. UGH! So I went inside to see if they had a coat hanger or a jimmy. Neither one. The lady at the register says "do you have anyone to call?" Crap, Ken's not home, the boys are home alone. Crappity, crap, crap, crap. So I tell her that I have an extra set of keys at home, but I have to walk home and get them.

IT'S 20 DEGREES OUTSIDE WITH A 10MPH WIND! And I'm totally not dressed to walk home.

So I start walking. The first block wasn't so bad. Then my nose started to hurt (from my surgery, I actually have a partial implant in my septum), and then my legs are cold, and my cheeks are cold. Two blocks later my face is numb and my thighs sting, my jeans feel like ice cubes. BRRRR!!

I made it home as quick as I could, got my spare keys. I called my neighbor and asked if they could give me a ride back to the gas station cuz it's too cold out. So they did. I got in my van. Got my purse out and paid for my gas & drove home.

Brrr....freaking....Brrrr...In warm weather I wouldn't have minded. My cheeks get wind/cold burn pretty easily. Then when I get into the warmth it stings and they puff up like hives. It sucks.

The boys behaved up until I got home, then they started fighting.

Friday, November 21, 2008

A week's worth of blog

And what a week it's been!

Last Thursday evening we headed to Wisconsin Dells for a long weekend family get-a-way. We arrived late in the evening, but this meant we had all day Friday to play. I excused the kids from school for the day, so they thought that was pretty cool.

On Friday we attended one of those time share sales pitch deals. Big yawn...yadda, yadda, yadda...We weren't interested at first and we were convinced we would say no, and go on with our day. Our hour and a half sales pitch turned into a 4 hour sales pitch. The more we listened and then we took a tour and crunched some numbers and Whoa la! We are now proud owners of a time share. We got a really good deal on it, and it is vacations for a life time. We can pass them onto our kids or we can sell it. Either way it turned out to be a win-win situation for us.

The time share works on a point based system. We are able to use it year round. We aren't locked into a certain week or place or amount of days to stay. If we don't use all our points in one year they roll over into the next year, so we don't lose anything if we don't use it one year. As owners of this time share, we are also eligible for discounts at other hotels around the world. We are also eligible for discounts on airfare, car rentals, and cruises.

Since we purchased the time share, they gave us free weekend passes to the indoor water park of the resort we purchased our time share from. Needless to say we spent the rest of Friday in the pool. We had an awesome time.

Saturday morning after breakfast we headed back for more water park fun. Then in the afternoon we headed to an indoor amusement extravaganza! Bumper cars, ball pit, go-carts, bowling, video games...a whole lotta fun in one place..or as Ken called it big money pit.

I did get to meet a gal I've been talking to online for a little over a year while we were in Wisconsin. It was fun meeting and her family finally. We hit it off great, and we were bummed we couldn't hang out longer.

Sunday we headed home.

Monday...gee I've already forgotten what I did on Monday. I did something though.

Tuesday I went grocery shopping at the new Cub Foods grocery store that opened up next to Wal-Greens about 3 very long blocks from my house. It is really nice. I ended up spending two hours in there just finding every thing and looking around. I was surprised at the many things they do carry, as they are a smaller sized store.

Wednesday evening...I caught up on TV shows I had missed.

Thursday evening I spent 5 hours watching TV and getting completely caught up on missed shows and current shows.

I took the week off from writing. I've just been busy and brain dead. I am back at it now. I am currently up to 26k words. Only 24k more to go in 10 days. I hope I can make it. But I'm on the second leg of the NaNo marathon and refreshed, so I think I'll make it to the finish line.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Happy Veterans Day

A big thank you to all the people serving in the military both past and present. Thank you for keeping our country safe and fighting for our right to be a free country. You make a sacrifice that we are grateful for. You voluntarily choose to serve our country and you have our respect.

I have family and friends that are currently enrolled in the military and just wanted to take this moment to say "Thanks". I also have family and friends that served in days past and wanted to take this moment to say "Thanks for your services that have paved the way."

May God protect you and keep you safe!

Saturday, November 8, 2008

One week into the NaNo

I have almost reached a count of 15,000 words. Whew...what a week it has been. And to answer your questions about why I am doing the NaNo and what I hope to gain from it.

For the last 4 years I have been taking correspondence writing courses on writing for children's magazines. I have learned many things and the thing I loved most about it is that I have been able to tap into my creative side of myself and have really enjoyed this hobby. Where this hobby takes me is entirely anybodies guess. I would certainly like to get published as an end result.

I have a few online friends who have encouraged me to get involved in the NaNo. Write a novel in one month. Sure why not? What have I got to lose? And what a great way to get inspired to get a novel done. I have to admit the challenge has been very addicting. I spent the month of October mapping the novel out, by doing character builds and story outlines.

Don't plans to quit the day job just yet. Do I expect to become the next best selling author and appear on Oprah. If I'm going to dream, I might as well dream big, but I won't be too disappointed if that doesn't happen. And if it just turns out to be a bit of extra income coming in, then that's not such a bad thing either.

Here is the latest excerpt.
It was a beautiful day, so we had the party outdoors in the back yard. The kids all had a great time, and most of them were too young to figure out that Calvin wanted absolutely nothing to do with them. He played in the corner of the playground area and had his back turned to everyone. He made no eye contact with any one, and he showed no facial expression. I couldn’t tell if he enjoyed it or was miserable. He wasn’t fussing and whining, so I really am not sure how to read it based on his reaction. This was the largest group of people he’s been around and apparently he is my little anti-social kid.

When we brought out the cake to sing happy birthday with a big candle in the shape of a number two on it, he cried. He wanted nothing to do with it. I think the flame might have scared him, but it could have been the crowd of people too. I’m really not certain.

We opened presents after cake. I sat Calvin on my lap when we sat down on the patio to open gifts as all the guests gathered around us to see the excitement on his face when he opened their present. Calvin just sat there though. So I took his little hands in mine and helped him rip the paper. He did not like that one little bit. He moved his hands away from mine, stood up, turned his back towards everyone, and hugged me for dear life. He had his arms wrapped around my neck very tightly, that it started to choke me. James came to my rescue and took him from me. James gave him his favorite blanket and calmed him down. I felt horrible. Jeremy then decided that he would open Calvin’s presents for him. One of the kids asked why Calvin didn’t want his presents. I had no answer for that question. I told the kids to go ahead and open Calvin’s gifts for him and we would give them to him later when he was in a better mood.

Calvin seemed to settle down after the craziness of present opening ended and his new toys were out and about they yard. The kids were all having fun with his new toys. Calvin decided he wanted to play with his new basketball someone had given him. James brought the Little Tykes indoor basket ball hoop outside so Calvin could play with his new basket ball. I was hoping that would at least engage him to play with at least one of the other children, but he refused. One of the kids did try, but Calvin held onto the ball and just stared him down until he gave up and left Calvin alone. Calvin made every single basket he shot for. It truly was amazing watching him. Calvin continued to make baskets for a half an hour. Over and over again, he made basket after basket.

I sat on the deck with rest of the adults while the kids played together in the yard, all the kids except of course Calvin. James reached into the cooler and handed me a beer. It was just what I needed. I think he sensed the tenseness and stress I was feeling. Although, now the worst part of the party was over, I could wind down and relax. I had no where to go that evening, so I decided it was time to drink my troubles away.

After all our guests had left, James brought all the toys, Jeremy, and Calvin inside and we settled in for the night. I hated the fact that I could not tell if Calvin enjoyed his birthday or not. He exhibited his infamous poker face the whole entire day. Jeremy, on the other hand, was excited. I’m glad at least one of my children had fun with all the planning we did for this. I thought for sure that Calvin would be at least be excited about the Thomas Cake but that back fired on me and not only did he cry when we presented it, but he didn’t eat any of it either. It just really saddens my heart the way the day turned out. Who knew my little boy would hate his birthday? What child hates birthday parties? None that I ever knew of.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

After 5 days of writing

I have hit a mark of 10,001 words. Wow, this is much more fun than I originally expected. To give you an idea of what 10,001 word is:

18 pages single spaced with 1 inch top and bottom margins in a word document
140 paragraphs
844 sentences

So it's been quite the writing week. I am looking forward to this weekend of writing and I will more than likely be taking a writing break tomorrow night.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

The NaNoWriMo has begun

Well, my first try at National Novel Writing Month. I started at midnight on November 1 and by the end of the day I reached 5,395 words. Whoo Hooo! I am off to a great start. I sure hope I can keep the momentum going. I suspect I would have gotten further on it, if it weren't for the girl invasion, but that was a nice distraction. Kevin has decided he definitely does not want a little sister. Sam on the other hand doesn't mind the company. Someone who finally listens to him.

I am off to writing today. Hoping to get in a decent continuation on the word count today.

Here is an excerpt of the novel thus far.

Dec 18, 2000

I am so glad that James did not have to travel this week. It is the week before Christmas and there is so much we need to do yet. Hopefully, I’ll have time in the evenings to go shopping. James was saying something about wanting to be involved in the shopping, but we’d have to have Gwen come in to watch the kids if we did that. It is just much simpler to tag team.

We took the boys to see Santa over the weekend. That went over with Calvin about as well as oil and water. Calvin was a bit freaked out by the bearded man. I think things may have been fine, but Santa spoke. Santa has a very deep voice that I don’t think either one of the kids were expecting. The minute he spoke, both kids got scared. The elf helper brought over a small chair and they had Jeremy sit in the chair by Santa. Poor Jeremy. He did get to sit on Santa’s lap this year. I suppose I should have let them see Santa separately instead of together at the same time. But after standing in line for an hour, we just wanted to get it done and over with. Calvin started screaming the minute Santa spoke. His little pudgy face turned bright red and the tears just streamed down his face. Then the moment I’ll never forget. Calvin kicked Santa. Right in the knee. Oh, lovely I have the child who kicked Santa. I bet my boys made Santa’s day. We will be the story that Santa tells his family about when speaking of his Santa career.

What a lovely picture that turned out to be! Jeremy looks scared. Like a deer in the headlights. His eyes are so big and he has this shocked look on his face. I’m not sure what was going through his head. Calvin has his mouth wide open screaming, his face a very bright red, with tears streaming. And Santa….Santa is clutching Calvin for dear life. I hope they pay Santa a good salary for his job.

While we waited for our pictures to develop, Jeremy had gotten into the Peppermint Patties they had on the table for their customers. I am not sure how I missed Jeremy getting into those, but I did. Apparently James did not notice either. I guess we were just so wrapped up in comforting Calvin and calming him down. Plus deciding which pictures to order.

I’m sure the Gap Store will not allow us back into their store. But that is what they get for having pure glass walls in front of their store. They should really be mad at Santa and not us. Santa is the one who provided the chocolates. My lovely little innocent Jeremy got chocolate every where. All down his mouth and all over his hands. Chocolate was all over his clothes. He then decided it was a good idea to wipe his chocolate covered hands and mouth all over the glass windows of the Gap Store. What a lovely decision. I had Calvin snug in his stroller at this point, so upon noticing Jeremy and the store clerk was headed our way. James whisked Jeremy up and we ran out of there pretty quickly. I’m sure we aren’t the first ones to smear chocolate all over their glass walls. At least it was on the outside of the store and not the inside. I do wonder though, how many times through out the day the Gap store ladies have to clean the outside glass from the Santa exhibit.

James and I got the car. We put the kids in, looked at Jeremy smiling his chocolaty smile and we busted out laughing. Definitely a Christmas to remember. We certainly hope Santa won’t remember us next year.

Dec 24, 2000

Today we spent the day with James’s family. They live in the same state as us, unlike my family. My family lives in Wyoming. I left home when I was eighteen. I went to college in Minnesota and while in college, I met James. I knew it was love at first site. So I stayed here when our relationship took off. Going back home to Wyoming for the holidays just doesn’t happen. Airplane travel is harder in the winter months, and you just never know what the weather is going to be like. It is just better to visit during the summer months when the weather is nicer. Things aren’t as chaotic then, and we get a real nice vacation out of it. So our holidays are always spent with James’s family. They really are a great family, but I just knew that Calvin would be a bit much for them to deal with. James and I are the only ones who have children, so we are setting the path, although James’s sister and husband announced that they are expecting a baby in July. How wonderful! James and I will no longer be the only ones with kids in this family. Everyone was really beginning to wonder. We are so happy for them. My children will have a new cousin.

I had no cousins growing up as a child. My mother was an only child, as well as my father. James had quite a few cousins growing up, so he got to have the cousin experiences that I did not. I am really hoping that our children will have good relationships with their cousins here.

The kids were so excited to open presents at Grandma and Grandpa’s house. They could hardly contain themselves. They couldn’t wait to rip into all that pretty paper under the pine tree. Curiosity was getting to the best of Jeremy. He understands what happens at Christmas as this is his third one. He knows what all those pretty wrapped packages are for him. Calvin was just feeding off of Jeremy’s excitement. I wasn’t sure how this would play out considering the way Calvin has been acting.

When it came time to open presents Jeremy went nuts. He giggled and he ooohed an awed at the paper. He enjoyed opening presents so much. He had more fun with the paper and boxes than he did with the actual presents. Christmas is just supposed to be so fun with the little ones. Jeremy’s excitement and joy was completely overshadowed by Calvin, however. Through, the chaos of presents and paper ripping Calvin just sat there and cried. He wanted nothing to do with any of it. At one point he got up and walked away. I went to go see where he was and he was sitting in a corner. He was still upset, but he seemed to more complacent there. So I left him there. Jeremy kept yelling “mommy, mommy, wook.” Jeremy had proceeded to open all of Calvin’s presents and mine. Bless his heart. I’m just glad at least one of my sons had a good time.

I could tell James family noticed Calvin’s behavior. They pretended not to notice, but I could tell they did. They started to ask questions that I simply did not have answers for. I’m sure they were wondering what kind of mother I am, to have such a child who just seems so different. I really wish I knew what has gotten into him. What ever it is, it certainly isn’t going to change any time soon. It is just who he is. I’ve heard of animals temperaments changing when they get older, so perhaps the same is true of Calvin.

To avoid unanswerable questions, I got up to check Calvin. He had gotten mysteriously quiet, although, I knew he hadn’t moved from the corner I found him in earlier. To my horror, Calvin was covered in blood. It was all over his mouth, his arms, and his legs. What on earth! I picked him up and looked for the source of blood. The first place I looked was his mouth. I saw nothing wrong. There was blood all over his teeth, but I didn’t see any teeth that were loose or indication that any had fallen out. I ran him into the bathroom. Of course, everyone wanted to know what was going on. I just couldn’t imagine what could have caused so much blood to be all over Calvin. It certainly couldn’t be something too horrible since Calvin seemed so calm. I took a wash cloth out of the cupboard and wet it down. I took off Calvin’s pants and shirt and still found nothing. I took the wash cloth and washed his hands. His hands at this point still had fresh blood on them. As I washed the blood off his mouth and hands, I noticed his knuckles were badly cut up. I then realized the cuts were from his teeth. Why would my baby injure himself like this? Why on earth would he chew on his own hand to the point of mutilation? None of this was making sense. I tried talking to Calvin, but I of course got the usual response from him that I’ve been getting for the past few months now. He wouldn’t answer me. He wouldn’t even smile or frown or show any facial expression. He just looked at me like he was playing the coolest poker game of his life. His face just showed nothing. This is definitely something new and I hope it doesn’t happen again. I’m just glad to be at home now and away from family. They have so many questions as to why Calvin would chew at his hands the way he did. I of course, had absolutely no answers for them. Calvin is proving to not be the typical child. I haven’t read anything yet to describe this type of behavior. I just really don’t understand.

all rights reserved
bbley 2008

Girl invasion

Tonight I babysat a friend of mine's daughter. She is three and has lots of energy! She is such a cute and sweet little girl. It really is nice to have another girl in the house. Sam played with her quite well. They had a good time together. Kevin on the other hand acted like there was an alien invasion. I think I let the poor little dear eat too many M&M's. She was all wound up. She finally crashed around 11:30 pm. Yikes! I sure hope she sleeps in tomorrow. She was so tired, yet so afraid she was going to miss something that the boys would do. But she finally did go to sleep. She looks so peaceful sleeping. Just like a little angel. Of course my children look like complete angels sleeping peacefully in their beds as well.

I really enjoy Emma. I enjoy getting my girl fix. Fixing our hair, painting our toe nails, all that fun stuff I never get to do with the boys. But as she was binging off the walls with energy, I was thankful that I no longer have wee little ones.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Let the fun begin

Midnight, November 1st. The official start of National Novel Writing Month. The goal is to write a novel of 50,000 words in 30 days. This is my first year at doing this, so wish me luck. 50,000 words in 30 days, or 1,666.6 words per day, or 70 words per hour.

My novel is going to a diary style account of one woman's journey through diagnosis and raising a child with Autism. She will discover her strengths and weaknesses as she learns to reach through to her child who is in a world of his own. Follow her tragedies and triumphs as told by her.

I will post bits & pieces on my blog as I go. Stay tuned.

Happy Hall-BOO-ween!!

A perfect night for trick-or-treating! This year we made the rounds in our neighborhood. We came home, emptied the loot, then we drove over to our daycare lady's neighborhood. All her neighbors were sitting in their driveway having a camp fire. So you walked around the circle and they all gave out candy. What a great way to hit 5 houses at once. After we were done in that neighborhood, we drove to Summit Ave in St. Paul. Summit Ave is home to the Governor's mansion and many very old, wonderful architectural mansions. They went all out. It was really amazing. They really spent a lot of time putting up so many cool decorations. Some of the houses also had people jumping out at you in costume. One house was even dropping a net on you as you walked up their stairway. So they made it really fun. We hit the mother load on candy though. Pretty much all the houses were giving away full size candy bars. By the time we had made our way to the Governor's mansion, they had run out of candy. And that was at about 8:30 pm. Oh well, we did pretty good in that neighborhood anyway. It was really quite the trick-or-treating experience.

After trick-or-treating for 3 hours, we made our way home. Ah, it felt so good to be home. Our feet were tired. I swear we must have walked at least 3 miles. Or least it felt like it! But it was such a beautiful night to be out, we really had to take advantage of it. We don't get too many Halloween nights where we don't have to try to fit our costumes over our coats and hats.

And now we have lots of candy too eat. Hmmmmm....such a dilemma. I mean, which ones do we eat first?!!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Science Test Update

Well...Sam got a 4.5 out of 17 on the science test. Far from passing. I went through the test and he studied more info than he needed to. Seems like the questions he studied weren't on the test. Oh well.....maybe the next test he'll do better.

You win some and you lose some.

Kick Ball League through the city

A couple months or so ago I contacted the city youth sports league about adding Kick Ball to their offered sports. I also offered to head up such a program.

Well, I didn't hear back for a long time and then the president of the city league emailed me back & asked me what Kick Ball even was. So I responded and figured it was a dead deal.

Then a few weeks later I got an email from another head of the city youth sports league just basically saying, I'll ask the board but it probably won't happen, but I'll bring it up. Again, I figured it was a dead deal.

Today I get an email saying this.....(it includes a response to another person inquiring about tennis)

Good evening. Recently both of you emailed me to inquire about EAA adding "kickball" and "tennis" to our sport roster respectively. I am combining my emails to make it efficient for my reply. The answer is the same for both questions.

First, thanks again for asking me about these sports. I checked into our procedure and talked with my colleagues on the Board. In summary, what each sport needs is a sponsor and/or an individual or group of individuals who can come together to develop the sport, its season, and the myriad of details that might go into starting and continually offering a sport within the EAA umbrella. In other words, when we have added sports throughout the years it is done by individuals interested in the sport in comparison to EAA developing and initiating a new sport or athletic activity on its own. This makes a lot of sense given that EAA is largely made up of individual sport directors and a handful of administration related volunteers.

I don't assume anything with your inquiry, so let me offer if you are interested in pursuing this, please let me know. It is entirely up to you. I was not sure if you were simply checking into whether we can offer a sport of your choice, or possibly inquiring about taking a leadership role in moving one forward.


One of my neighbor ladies offered to help me with it, so I emailed her asking if she was serious. I'd totally be willing to head this up. I know plenty of people in my adult kick ball league that I'm sure would want to help out too.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Crazy Week

It's been a busy week.

Our week started out with a trip to the MN Zoo. It was a beautiful day and the animals were having lots of fun. I got great zoo pictures. And as always, we always have fun at the zoo. Kevin's favorite things are the Komodo Dragon and then petting the sting rays and the sharks.

The oldest cavechild has been sick with a nasty head and chest cold. Poor guy was just feeling miserable. He ended up missing a whole entire week of school. I ended up taking him to Urgent Care twice last week. The first time he checked out fine, doctors orders were to just go home and ride out the virus. Nothing we can really do, except to keep on with the cold an cough medicine. Take a spoonful of honey to coat the throat, and get plenty of rest. Later in the week we went back. We ended up seeing the same Urgent Care doctor. Turns out he ended up with an ear infection and a bit of wheezing in his lungs. She prescribed him an antibiotic and instructions to feel better. The antibiotic has kicked in and he is feeling back to normal. So off to school tomorrow he will go.

The littlest cavechild had a big science test at school this week. So we were busy helping him study. He had to know all about bones in the human body. He said when he took the test he knew the answers and didn't just have to guess at them. Yay!

We shopped for Halloween costumes. Hit the jack pot. Kevin is going to be a ghastly ghoul. He'll be wearing rusty chains, a scary mask, and a sythe. He will be oh so scary. Sam is going to be a Clone trooper. He's pretty excited about that, since his latest fascination is Star Wars. This year for Halloween we are going to make our usual neighborhood candy run. Then we are going to drive to Summit Ave, in St. Paul. They have really big fancy mansions on Summit Ave. They are known for giving out the best candy and having the best Halloween decorations. So we are excited about going there.

I had a dental tooth cleaning appointment and you all know how I feel about sitting in that torture chair. I survived.

The week ended with the cave hubby's birthday. I was busy shopping for a great gift for him and planning his birthday date. I hired a new babysitter to watch the kids (the kids loved her). I bought the hubby a book all about the history of hockey. I also bought him a MN Wild hockey puck, a MN Wild Hockey t-shirt, and a MN Wild hockey jersey. Then I took him out for dinner and to a Wild hockey game. We had so much fun. This was my first Wild Hockey game that I have been too. Our seats were great. We had a great view of the ice and we were on the corner where the Wild shot twice at the goal. The Wild won 2-1. So the hubby had a great birthday.

Friday, October 17, 2008

MEA week

The kids had all this last week off from school. It was Parent/Teacher conferences and teacher workshops this week.

I had scheduled conferences for Monday night. Monday night came and went. I laid down at 10:30 for bed and then remembered I had conferences that night. Ooops!

Tuesday morning I called their teachers to reschedule. Luckily I was able to get in to see both their teachers Tuesday night.

First was Sam's conference. He is doing well. I could tell this is his teachers first year of teaching and round of conferences. She went over everything! She was just a little chatter box. I finally looked at the clock and told her I had another school and conference to be at. But Sam is excelling in math. He has a hard time with story problems. He is doing really good at reading and starting to comprehend so much better with the "W" questions when re-capping. He's having fun in social studies and science. Every one loves him. And he is doing wonderful with his "try new food" program. Although, I did have to give her a list of foods that aren't new, because he's already trying to pull the wool over her eyes, by telling her some of his favorites are new. Lil stinker.

Next was Kevin's. He is doing well too. This is his second year at his new school, and he is adjusting wonderfully. He is catching up from having a crappy 3rd grade year and was starting to fall behind due to the lack of teaching and direction of his 3rd grade teacher. He thinks his 5th grade teacher is so awesome. She has an albino corn snake in the class room. She definitely earned big points in his eyes. She was amazed at how much he knows about snakes. I told her he does a lot of research on Google on snakes, plus he has found Viper Keeper on youtube. He wants to be a snake wrangler or herpetologist when he grows up. Along with the many other things he wants to do when he grows up. I'm glad he's got a plethora of careers to choose from. Air Force Pilot, Navy captain, truck driver, construction worker, snake wrangler...just to name a few....

What ever it is they decide to be...and luckily they have a few years to decide...they are off to a good start. They are being well rounded kids and getting a great education. They have great teachers and lots of opportunities.

Back to regular routine on Monday.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

New Fall Shows

Decisions, decisions, decisions! There are just too many good shows on TV this season. And no time to watch them all. Comcast On Demand has some shows you can watch after they have aired, but not all the shows. It is so hard to pick and choose what to watch.

This is the last season of ER. I have been watching that show since the first episode aired. It's hard to believe it's coming to an end. Right now that is the only show that I currently watch on NBC. But now NBC has put together some good shows that I'd like to watch. But they are up against some CBS shows that I just can't miss. And of course they are shows not featured on On Demand.

It used to be there were a couple of nights of good television, but now...Sunday through Friday I have my must see TV.

You know it's bad when you start to make plans around your favorite TV shows that aren't on On Demand.

I really need to get TIVO.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

New Glasses

Thursday morning I put my glasses in my purse & left for work. I got to work & they weren't in my purse. So I searched & searched for them. Couldn't find them all day. So Thursday evening I called my eye doctor and asked if I could get in that night. They had one appointment left, so I went. Yay! Ended up I needed my prescription changed. So I got new frames & new lenses. The best they can correct my vision to is 20/25 & I only need them for reading. But each eye is a bit different. My eye doctor dilated my eyes & while I waited for my glasses (in the one hour) to be done, I went to eat at Famous Dave's. Reading the menu was not easy!

So I came home with brand new glasses on Thursday night.

Friday morning I dropped Sam off at daycare & walked back to my van. I looked on the ground & said "WTF!" there were my glasses. Totally squished! Yep, ran over. Fell out of my purse at daycare drop off, in the road, and squished flat. Glad I went to get new ones. It was hard going one day with out glasses. No way could I have gone two.

I switched from wire frames to plastic. They are a deep purple with pink on the inside. They have a bit of pink on the side & look pretty cool. I totally love them!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Happy Birthday to Me

Well, I did it. (I hope my sisters don't faint or pass out for too long when they read this. After all their years of trying to convince my children.)

Today I came clean and told my children my REAL age. My oldest child looked at me and said "really"? I said "really". Then he shrugged and acted like he had known all along I wasn't turning 29 today.

I then told my youngest child. He actually didn't believe me. He said "Ha, ha, good one mom. You are 29 today. You told me you were born in 1979." I told him that I was just kidding about all that. He still didn't believe. So then I told him that I was just pretending to be turning 29 just like he pretends that sometimes he is 2 years old.

They both gave me the O.K. to keep pretending. They are such good kids!

No matter how old I two sisters will ALWAYS be older than me. Thanks for not being too mean to me on this birthday. The cards were hilarious. My oldest sister tried to get me with a big huge card filled with lots of teeny tiny confetti. Her plan failed though. The card was so big and thick that I was actually expecting two very big numbers to pop out to tell me how old I was turning. Instead the confetti did a good job of that. My mom and grandmother also chimed in the birthday banter. They got me pretty funny cards too. One thing our family has, is a good sense of humor.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Florida Escapades

I have returned to the cave. The cavemen missed me and they jabbered all the way home in the van from the airport to home. They were fighting for talking time. They were talking over each other. They were so excited to tell me everything they did while I was gone.

The beach was great! I went to Cocoa Beach and spent time on the Cocoa Beach Pier. I ate fresh crab legs at a tiki bar called Oh Shucks. They had a beatnik band playing, and it was so nice to just listen to music and enjoy crab legs while overlooking the ocean and having the fresh sea air blow against me. So relaxing. After my fabulous meal, I sauntered along the coast. The sand was hot, so I walked along the shoreline and let the waves hit my legs. I searched for sea shells to bring home. I found lots. The boys were sure excited to look at them all.

I only spent about an hour and a half in the sunshine. I did put on some sunscreen, but I didn't put any on my back, as I can't reach back there. I didn't see anyone who I was willing to let rub lotion on my back either. Mostly families and old, leathered, Floridian sea fishermen. So I figured a little sun wouldn't hurt. WRONG!!! What happens when you take a pale northern girl and put her on a Florida beach? SUNBURN CITY!! OUCH! I wonder what shade Crayola Crayons would describe the shade of pink my back is and still is. It's at the itchy stage. I'm sure I'll be molting soon. I also burned my scalp where my hair parts. Dang, I always forget about my head. Won't that be lovely when it starts peeling. I'll look like I need to use Head & Shoulders in a big bad way.

After spending the entire afternoon at the beach, I took my sandy, ocean soaked self back to the airport. I turned in my car. It was pouring so badly that it was hard to see, and I didn't see any gas stations in which to put gas into the rental. I figured forget it, I'll just get tagged for gas usage at the rental place rather than deal with trying to save a few bucks. My rental car had 12 miles on it when I took it off the lot and I returned it with 197 and only used half a tank of gas. WOW! That's awesome mileage.

I arrived at the conference in time for the Sunday evening festivities. Sunday night was their meet and greet. It was great to see people with in the industry that I haven't seen since last year and even meet some new ones. It was at the meet and greet that my group from my work all got invited out to dinner with Peoplenet. Who am I to pass up a good steak dinner?

Monday I attended guest speakers, classes, and exhibits from 8 am - 5 pm. After lunch they served a great tiaramasu. It was LOADED with alcohol! Best desert I've ever had. I need to know how to make that. I wonder what their recipe is. I think the chef tripped when he put the alcohol in it. They had two political guru's speak and they were very entertaining. Even humorous. Who knew political analysts were funny?

Monday evening they provided diner and entertainment. They served steak over a seafood and veggie medley. I sent my steak back to get cooked as I think my steak was still mooing. I'm sure I heard it moo. Blech! The waitress looked at me annoyed and told me my steak was cooked medium well. I told her, to get me one that was over well done then. She promptly brought me another steak. Delicious! And this one was cooked just right. I'm shocked not many people complained or sent theirs back. When we were talking of dinner the next day, most people either said they didn't eat it or it was delicious. I said I sent mine back and they looked at me like I was crazy. Oh well...they either went hungry or ate cold meat, while I had perfection. What's so wrong with that??

The entertainment was The Three Grands. WOW! They were amazing and so fun! Three guys on grand piano's, a drummer, a guitarist, and a sax player. They were so fun to listen to. They took requests, but none of our table's requests got played. They played mostly all 70s and 80s music, so I knew the words to most of their songs.

Tuesday again, I attended guest speakers, classes, and exhibits all day. Then I got ready for another steak dinner. The steak house we went to was on site at the hotel. It was FABULOUS! Best crab cakes I've ever had, and also quite possibly one of the best steaks I have ever eaten. They had to butterfly my steak so they could cook it to my liking with out it being tough. They did a great job of that! Again, lots of red cold slabs of steak mooing at my table. Not me...No way!

Wednesday I attended another class and then got ready to make the trip home. I got a ride to the airport with some friends and had a long wait until my flight. So I took my time. I had lunch at The Macaroni Grill. Oh their bread was oh so yummy. I bought the book "Wicked" and started to read that. My sister highly recommended it. It is pretty good. Then I hopped on my laptop and found some free internet. Whoo Hoo!

Finally it was time to get on the plane. After a whole afternoon of wasting time at the Orlando Airport. Oh well, I was ready for the down time. I was exhausted. I slept the whole way home on the plane. Which is just the way I like it.

Now, I'm back to reality. I was pretty busy getting unburied at my cubicle. Now I'm ready for the weekend!

Saturday, September 20, 2008

I ran away from the cave

I'm in Florida! Away from the hubby and kids. I'm here for business, but took a couple days before the conference for some R&R. So far I've done just that. It sure is great to get away. Most of the time so far I've just been hanging out poolside at the Tiki Bar. The weather has been great. Hot & sunny, and absolutely NO bugs.

Today I went shopping and bought souvies for the hubby and kids. It was the hugest gift store I've ever seen. They had tons of Disney stuff. Everything in there was pretty cheap too. So I managed to get a couple of goodies for myself.

Tomorrow I am headed to the beach. It's about an hours drive. I can't wait.

Sunday late afternoon, I turn in my rental car & head over to the Marriott Convention Center for my work conference. Which is the reason I'm in Florida to begin with. I just decided to come out a couple days early and get away from the cave.

So, I've left the cavemen together. I do hope they can survive with out me. I'm sure they will be fine. At least that's what I keep telling myself.

Friday, September 12, 2008

More Evolution

Well, the cave is evolving quite nicely. I added a new coffee table. I got my treasure at Pier One. A bit of my own creation too. I searched all day online for the perfect coffee table and then BAM! it hit me. I had an idea. So shopping time for me. :) It is a glass top coffee table, with an oakish red colored metal frame. I have two elephant statues, two antelope type skulls and horns, and a neat looking plant in the center under neath. (Yes, pictures will be posted!)

My entertainment center turned curio cabinet has turned into quite the neat thing too. My husband was amazed at how quickly I filled it. I ordered a very neat looking bucking bronco with cowboy sculpture to really set it off. Not only did the statue arrive in the mail broken. ARG! But also, it is discontinued. So I can not get another one. WHAT!! So the search for the perfect piece continues.

We have not received the kids beds yet. I ordered them online two weeks ago. The kids each picked their own. Of course they are not matching. Heaven forbid, they have the same bed. Their room remains undone. :(

The hubby is rather enjoying the new 64 inch TV. Sports are great to watch on it. The rest of us have hardly been able to use it for our own viewing pleasure. The littlest caveman has pretty much owned the new recreation room. And the oldest cavechild still thinks he owns the big guy upstairs. They aren't big fans of the "no X-box and no cartoons on school night" rule. Big bad mean mom!

I was able to sell pieces of furniture on Craigslist. They were sold rather quickly. So that was nice to be able to put money back into the checking account which I've been so fond of lately.

Earlier in the week, we borrowed our neighbors pull behind trailer. We went to Great Grandma Marge's house (bless her soul, she's been in the nursing home for a couple of years now). Her house has finally sold, so we went to move some furniture out that we wanted to keep in the family rather than let some random stranger have all her things. So we acquired a lovely six foot long dresser with a mirror. Of course it doesn't fit in our bedroom. Blasted for odd shaped walls. But it's a beauty and I'm sure eventually I'll find a way to make it work. We also acquired a bookshelf, a lamp, and an outdoor gliding metal double seated chair. It's a pretty cool patio chair. It is in dire need of a paint job, which will be an easy remedy.

This morning I woke up and found the oldest cave child sitting on my brand new glass top coffee table. :O I promptly screeched for him to remove his bottom off my coffee table and the lad looked at me in amazement. Like I was speaking a foreign language. He said "Why?" To which I hollered in bewilderment "because it's made of glass!" Geez, total caveman moment there!

I have been cleaning and organizing all week. Tomorrow we are having our annual bash at our house. We invite all our friends over once a year and live it up. I am also throwing my birthday party in with it, so we aren't having a late fall party (when it's too cold), and we don't have to have two parties. I purposely did not put on the invitations that we were celebrating. No gag, you are such an old hag, gifts for me please. So the surprise birthday party is on them. :) No chance to give them that moment to make me feel old and haggered. I am a sneaky one. :)

My house looks great. It feels so good to finally have a house that is not one giant toy room.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

The Cave is Evolving

The cave is evolving, but not the cavemen. The last few weeks we have been very busy moving furniture and painting.

Tonight the hubby finished putting the final coat of paint in the kids room. It looks really nice! Now we get to go furniture shopping for it. Yay! I love shopping!

We changed the play room into a more grown up recreational room. We got the entertainment center for the TV. Soon we'll be moving our futon into that room.

Yesterday I went shopping at Target and bought new stuff for the bathroom. Goodbye rubber ducky theme! Hello, grown up bathroom. We re-did our bathroom a year ago, so not much to do there except get new bathroom fixtures.

Saturday the 64 inch HDTV arrives! That will go in our basement living room area. The TV and stand that is in that room will move to our upstairs living room area. The TV in our upstairs living room area will move downstairs in the kid's recreational room. Whew! That's a lot of moving!

We are also inheriting some furniture from my husband's grandmother. I am excited to get the bookcase, so I can have room for all the books we own. Which is another thing we did to evolve. All the baby books have been removed from the bookshelves. Well...except Dr. Seuss...but his books are really for every age.

It will be really good when this whole evolving process is done. Now, if I could just get the cavemen to evolve....

Saturday, August 23, 2008

50 Things About Me Post

Ok, I missed my 50th post. But this is post #56, so I didn't miss it by much.

Here goes 50 things about me!

1) I lie about my age.
2) I grew up in Montana.
3) I hate flying.
4) I've never down hill skied before.
5) I'm a very picky eater & I have lots of food rules.
6) I'm a Survivor tv show junkie.
7) I have a major crush on Kevin Costner.
8) My biggest fear is death.
9) I have 2 older sisters & 1 younger brother.
10) I am the Captain of my kickball team.
11) I have lived in 5 states.
12) I have traveled to over 20 states, Canada, and Washington DC.
13) I love garage sales.
14) I still have my tonsils & my appendix.
15) I got my first perm when I was 10 years old. It was a home perm.
16) I still love 80's music.
17) I grew up in a house that was 666 square feet. At one point 8 of us lived there. It was 2 bedrooms, 1 bath. Plus we had 4 cats. CRAZY!
18) I love raising my kids in a cul-de-sac.
19) I was in 7th grade when I ate my first hot lunch at school.
20) I was 12 years old when I learned how to swim.
21) I got married in a lodge in the mountains & didn't have to say my vows.
22) I was 15 years old when I got my first kiss. It was from a college guy.
23) I have a 100 year old grandmother who likes to ride on the back of Harley's.
24) My shortest job was 1 day at a call center taking catalog orders.
25) My longest job was 5 years as a Safety Qualifications Technician.
26) I've worked at my company for 7 1/2 years.
27) I've had 2 job positions at the company I work for.
28) I hate the sound of nails on a chalk board.
29) The movie "The Grudge" completely freaks me out.
30) We have 5 TV's in our house & I'm always fighting to watch one. We are about to get our 6th.
31) Dr. Seuss is my favorite children's author.
32) John Saul is my favorite adult author.
33) My first rock concert was Foreigner. I was a Jr. in high school.
34) I love going to county fairs. The ferris wheel is my favorite ride.
35) I've lived in MN for 21 years.
36) I have never been to the MN state fair, floating down the Apple River, or to Cantebury Downs.
37) I water skied one time. It hurt when I fell, and have never gotten up again. My husband is a good water skier.
38) I was a cheerleader my Jr. & Sr. year of high school.
39) I can trace my ancestors back to 1400s Sweden.
40) I am a member of 5 online forums.
41) I can light a 1 match camp fire.
42) It took my dad 2 weeks to notice I got my ears pierced a 2nd time when I was 16.
43) I've had surgery 2 times.
44) I played the clarinet in band in High School.
45) I weighed 98 pounds when I graduated from high school.
46) My husband & I met at Champps in Richfield, MN.
47) My sister beats me all the time at online backgammon.
48) I send my 1st grade teacher a Christmas card each year.
49) I've worn reading glasses since 7th grade.
50) I moved to MN with a one way ticket on a Grey Hound bus, with 2 suit cases and 1 carry on. Now, I'd need a 53' U-haul to move anywhere.

Caveman discovers the moon

Tonight my husband is wandering about the yard with a big stick after having a few too many cocktails. He is pointing at the moon, asking me questions about how the moon went from a full moon in the southern sky to a half moon in the eastern sky in one week.

He looks a bit like the baboon Rafiki in the movie "The Lion King" with his big stick. I'm sure his revelation is much like when cavemen first discovered the moon and the placement of the moon. He's wondering if the earth somehow got a bit off track or perhaps the moon did. Perhaps I should go out there and lasso it for him. Hurry someone get Galileo on the phone to answer his questions. I told him to go walk around the yard and figure it out. He walked around the yard with his big stick looking very purplexed and wondering if the scientists or the calendar forgot to tell us something.

Silly caveman!

Monday, August 18, 2008

Score on free stuff

In the last month I have scored big time on free stuff. I love free stuff.

One of my friend's kids play baseball religiously. They have played since they began to walk. I asked if they had any baseball bats left over we could buy from them. Her husband came over with 4 baseball bats in hand. We are set for the next few years.

My neighbors had a garage sale a few weeks back. She tried selling for the last 3 years a pair of really cute purple and white down hill skis. No one would even buy them for $5.00 She was bound and determined to get them out of her house. At the end of the sale, they put a lot of things that didn't sell at the end of their drive way with a FREE sign next to it. There lay the skis. Her husband was outside and asked if I wanted the skis. I told him I didn't know what I'd do with them. He said "well, you'd go skiing, and if you don't take them someone else will.". I offered him the $5 for them & he refused. So I now own a pair of pretty downhill skis. The boots didn't fit, but I can get new ones and reset the bindings on the skis.

I have never ever in my life gone down hill skiing. But now when I do go. I will be skiing in style.

A few weeks ago, my work had a golf outing. I had to borrow my husband's golf clubs because I do not own a pair of my own. Why would I? I've only golfed two times in my entire life prior to this outing. As we were headed out to golf, a lady at work asked if I had petite clubs. I told her "No, I'm using my husband's." She wondered how that was going to work, since they were not properly sized for me. She informed me that she had just bought a whole new set of golf clubs and she would give me her old set. OK...sure, I'll take a free set of set of nice women's petite golf clubs. Even though, I have only golfed three times now.

While my caveman was at camp we started re-doing the kids bedroom. We ended up re-doing their play room. One of my friends had just inherited a whole bunch of furnishings from a relative. She was giving away her entertainment center. She just wanted it out of her house, to make room for her new one she was getting. I told her I'd take it. It would make a good addition to the playroom and if she delivered it, I'd give her a case of beer. The deal was sealed.

The kids are enjoying their new entertainment center, and I need to find some golfing buddies and some skiing buddies.

And if anyone else has free stuff for me, bring it on. I'll even accept free money. :)

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

The Caveman Returns

I picked up the little caveman from camp on Saturday. By Sunday evening I was ready to return him back to camp. He tried testing the waters to see if my parenting skills had lightened up any since he left home. To his dismay they have not, so he has settled back into the normal routine of things.

I unpacked his suitcase. He brought home one dirty pair of underwear, two pairs of dirty socks, three dirty t-shirts, one pair of dirty shorts, one pair of dirty long pants, one dirty sweat shirt, one dirty swim suit, and one dirty towel. Yippee!!! He brought home lots of dirty clothes!!! He refused to take a shower on his return. Claimed he'd taken a shower at camp and spent lots of time in the lake. The jury is still out on this one.

He won a camper's award. He won "The Golden Bobber". He won this for having a positive attitude and demonstrating the best sportsmanship during fishing. No one caught any fish, but he helped others hook their bait and showed some of the kids how to cast and reel.

He spent all of his camp store money. He told me "Mom, on Thursday I had $22.00 left in my camp store account, so I bought 2 more t-shirts, and some Skittles. Now I have 75 cents in my camp store account!"

He bought 3 t-shirts at camp. All three have the same design. 2 are burgundy and 1 is blue. Well, I did tell him it was his camp money to spend as he pleased.

I sent him with 3 disposable camera's. He lost one at camp. As we were leaving, one of his cabin mates came running up to us with the lost camera. Apparently, he found it at the beach. At least he took pictures this year.

We are happy to have him home. Even if it means fighting over the remote, the computer, how much dinner he should be eating, and picking up after himself.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Only 3 days

Is how long it takes us to miss our little caveman. There is definitely a void in this house. It's just too insanely quiet around here.

But we have gotten SO much done! It started out to be just a painting project, but turned into revamping two rooms in our house. We have been very busy moving furniture, spackling holes in the wall, taping, throwing out old toys, trip to Home Depot, taping, and priming. Whew...and that's what we've done since Monday. Won't our caveman be surprised when he gets home and finds that his bed is in the garage.

We are getting an entertainment center (not a huge one) tomorrow. We are getting that for a case of beer. Now that's what I call a trade! My friend is giving it away free, but I told her if she brought it to my house and helped unload it, I'd buy her a case of beer. The deal was sealed!

Sunday, August 3, 2008

One kid down

Today we dropped our oldest son off at his grandparent's house, so that he can catch the bus to camp tomorrow morning. He was excited and sad at the same time. Sad that he was going to miss everyone and everything, but the minute he steps on that big coach bus, he'll forget all about us and his pets.

This year he has instructions:

Bring home more dirty clothes than clean ones. Since I packed a small suitcase with limited amount of clothes to change into, that should be an easy thing to do. We shall see. I'm guessing he'll still bring home more clean clothes than dirty. First thing he'll do when he gets home is take a thirty minute shower. I'm setting a timer too.

Take pictures! The first year he went to camp he blasted through 2 disposable camera's in one evening. The second year, I sent three camera's with him. He didn't take one picture. Not one. This year, I'm returning him with the three camera's from last year. I told him to pass one off to a buddy to help out. He said "I'd rather take your digital camera."....Yeah, I'm sure he would, but that's not going to happen unless I get two new digital camera's. He's too young for his very own digital camera yet. I'm sure it would be lost with in days of him getting one.

Don't spend all your camp store money on candy. He's known as the Twizzler kid at camp. I sent him enough money for a weeks worth of Twizzlers and some fun stuff for him.

Lastly...Have FUN! This one he'll have an easy time doing. We told him to be a bit more adventurous. Since he now knows how to swim and he is experienced camper....

While he is away, we are going to paint the kids bedroom, enjoy the peace and quiet, and watch whatever we want on TV.

The little caveman will enjoy not being bothered by his big brother for one whole week.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Summer Camp

This weekend we are preparing to send our oldest cave child to summer camp for a week. This will be his third year attending. It's a great camp, and he loves going. He is really looking forward to it.

Each year I send him, his suitcase gets smaller. The first year I sent him, his suitcase was bigger than he was. I packed him like I would have packed for myself. A new pair of socks and underwear for each day, a new shirt for each day, plenty of shorts, long pants, and sweatshirts. I sent him with disposable camera's, pens, paper, self addressed stamped envelopes for home, towels, shampoo, soap, and everything else that was included on the "things to bring" camp list.

He ended up coming home with more clean clothes than dirty. In fact 95% of the things in his suitcase were left the way I packed them. I asked him why I did not receive a letter and he said "what paper and envelopes?"

Hmmmm....the ones that were on top of every thing. The ones he had to move in order to get to his shorts and shirts.

The next year, I packed a smaller suitcase. Containing the same things, but just less. Same thing happened....95% was untouched when we picked him up.

This year....I'm not packing much for him at all and it will all fit into a small suitcase. The size that women pack for an overnight trip. Why is it that a cave boy can pack what he needs for a week in the same size suitcase a woman would pack for an overnight trip?

I'm not sending him with self address envelopes to his mother. I'm not sending a nice beach towel. I'm not sending him with clothes for each day of the week. He'll either a) not use it b) lose it Boys....

Monday, July 28, 2008

The Birds and The Bee's

It is best to have a few cocktails in you when your son asks, prods, ok.... demands to know the truth about the birds and the bees.

So much for the "the mom and dad say a special prayer together and in her sleep God puts a baby in her tummy" BS. No, he needed answers...and he needed them now.

He had the whole "boys have this, girls have this, and that's why they're different" speech in health class at school last spring. I even had to sign the consent form for them to teach him that. So somewhere along the road, he learned that boys have a penis and girls have a baby hole. Yep, that's what he said it was "a baby hole".

So he posed the question to me and I'm not even sure what sparked it, but he went there. I had a few cocktails in me. In fact I think it might have even been truth serum. So, why oh why of all times, does the little lad pick that particular moment to ask me such a question.

Here's how it went down...

Me: Well, mom and dad say a special prayer

Caveman: No, they don't. That's a lie.

Me: Why do you say that?

Caveman: Cuz I know it's a lie.

Me: Well...what do you think then?

Caveman: Well, I know the baby comes out the woman's baby hole, but what's the man got to do with? How does it get in the woman?

Me: sure you really want to know?

Caveman: Yes, you have to tell me.

Me: Well, you know how boys and girls are different, right?

Caveman: Yeah, so do you get a baby from making out with a boy?

Me: Well...sort of...

Caveman: Well, I've seen you and dad kiss in the kitchen and you guys didn't get a baby from it.

Me: Well...true..

Caveman: Do boys have a special baby maker?

Me: Well, yeah, you could say that.

Caveman: So how do you make a baby? How was I made? How'd I get here? Blah, Blah, Blah, give me the truth or I won't shut up, blah, blah, blah....

Me: (totally pushed to the brink of my head ready to explode)...A man sticks his penis in the woman's baby hole and his penis makes a baby juice that goes into the baby hole and that's what makes a baby!!

Caveman: Totally speechless with the look of horror on his face. "WHAT! OMG, MOM, THAT'S TOTALLY DISGUSTING!"

Me: asked


I left the room and he laid down and watched cartoons to get the horror out of his head.

The next morning I asked him if he wanted to talk about our little conversation.

He turned his head away from me and said "No, I've forgotten every thing you said already and I DON'T want to talk about it."

One horrified kid....mission accomplished....

Guess he'll never ask me about the facts of life again, and I hope he asks his father next time.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Classes for Cavemen or men in general

I received this email today and am thinking about signing all three of my cavemen up for them.

“Be a Man”

Summer Classes

by Friday, August 17th 2008

Class 1

How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2

The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3

Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4

Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5

Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
At 7:00 PM

Class 6

Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant
Other ..
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7

Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8

Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9

Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined

Class 10

Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11

Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12

How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13

How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14

The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Send this to all the guys that you think can stand the heat,
and to all the ladies for the best chuckle of their day

Free Smiley Face Courtesy of www.FreeSmileys.orgFree Smiley Face Courtesy of

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Intense X-box game

Today from the confines of the caveroom, I heard my youngest caveman say "Stop doing this to me you stupid X-box! You are really pissing me off!"

(I know he has heard this type of language come from the eldest caveman of the house. The one who shouts at the TV during baseball, football, and hockey. The one who yells at the refs on the TV like they can really hear him. The one who thinks the refs will turn their call around because they've pissed him off. I've even see my hubby get up and point to the ref on the TV like he's going to push the little TV figure on the screen over if he doesn't listen.)

I went in his room and told him if he was really that frustrated with the game then maybe a break from it would be a good thing. It's just a game. So he did. He snuggled his cats. He had some Oreo's. All was well....

He is playing his game again, and I have heard nothing come from his dwelling except the game. So apparently the X-box is behaving itself and has ceased from pissing him off.

I'm not sure what the x-box did to him to make him so upset at it, but I figure he was losing against the game. He hates losing. He is quite a sour sport when it comes to losing. He doesn't lose well. We are working on that though. Baby steps.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Prelude to a Championship

Well...the Rangers won the Championship game. The score was 8-0 It was really fun to watch and the kids were pretty excited and happy that they won. They sure worked hard for it.

Here is the inspiring email the coach sent before the game. It sure did work.
Each day I live, I want to be; a day to give the best of me
I'm only one, but not alone; my finest day is yet unknown. . . .
I've lived to be the very best; I want it all, no time for less.
I've laid the plans, now lay the chance here in my hands.
I want one moment in time when I'm more than I thought I could be,
when all of my dreams are a heartbeat away and the answers are all up to me.
Give me one moment in time when I'm racing with destiny.
Then, in that one moment in time, I will feel, I will feel, eternity

-- Albert Hammond and John Bettis, made famous by Whitney Houston

It was 71 days ago that we met for the first time in the rain at Woodland for that first practice. What a journey it has been. By 8:00 tomorrow night (weather permitting), 117 EAA games will have been played. 18 teams of roughly 216 players will have taken their final swings of the season, said their goodbyes, put away their baseball stuff, and moved on. Of the 20 teams, only one team will go undefeated in the playoffs. Game 118 will crown a champion.

We have accomplished many wonderful things on our journey together. We wanted to have more fun than anyone else and from the looks on your faces as you play the game, we have accomplished that. We wanted to improve more than any other team and the Red Sox and Reds will vouch that we accomplished that. We wanted to extend our season as long as we could and you have PTKP’ed (Play To Keep Playing)all the way to the very last minute of the EAA season. You are playing inspired baseball. You are hammering the ball at the plate, your pitching overwhelms opposing batters, you are making smart plays in the field, you are running the bases aggressively and smart. You are making clutch pitches and big catches when you most need them. You are calm under pressure. You are playing baseball the way it should be played. You have worked hard to get better. You have supported, encouraged and helped each other. You are truly a team in every sense of the word. It has been a privilege to be associated with such a fine group of people and ballplayers.

As a result, you are on the brink of doing something you will remember for the rest of your lives. This is your moment. We have accomplished everything we set out to do at the beginning of the season. There is just one more thing left to accomplish. Let’s win a championship.

See you at 6:15 or even 6:00 for our last batting practice together before the final caravan over to the baseball field.

Coach David